I was initially going title this entry “Inner Form Creates Outer Reality.” It’s a great title but it seemed too serious. I have a list of entry titles in my phone and one of them is “Can it, Marcus Aurelius.” Marcus is the grandfather of stoicism. It’s a 2000 year old philosophy that everyone loves and at this point could be a religion. It’s a little dry for me though. Life contains multitudes and while there is suffering, I believe it’s meant to be lived. I think the stoics gently skip over this angle because so much of their work dwells on how to bear the burden of life.
Multitudes. When I left for Guatemala all I could think about was how I couldn’t stand New York, how it had gotten drab and empty. Then I got back and I remember landing in my neighborhood and understanding that New York contains multitudes, a complexity that my perception would never be able to grasp. This is an important idea to attach to. I realize that my experience of New York is largely dependent on my perception of it, and it’s ability to expand would come from my belief that it was a landscape that could expand. For example if I assume that the job market is good, then my behaviors follow that belief system. I put constructive energy into a job search because I believe it can generate a positive outcome. Eventually my effort generates a positive outcome and this reaffirms the belief system. I’m not suggesting job searching isn’t challenging though. There are a ton of setbacks in the process, but with tenacity (aka gracefully getting kicked in the teeth) we evolve, expanding the potential for a positive outcome. There is something to be said about our thoughts influencing our actions, and our actions creating the circumstances we live under. In essence, perception is reality. I should have titled this “inner form creates outer reality.”
That was a bit heady. I didn’t really want to go in that direction, but here we are. I wanna hit the reverse button on all of this and lean into techno because it speaks to me. I was playing fast tracks for my boss this morning and we talked about how it wakes you up from the inside, suggesting a different experience of reality. I remember listening to Slavoj Zizek talk about how film was deeply pornographic because it creates desire where there once was none. Maybe techno is my pornography, stimulating hunger for different energies in what can be a seemingly limited reality.
My preferred tracks are fast, fast, fast, and even better with a hard bass line. Below are the favs for this week:
- Psykoz by Van Riu (there is literally so much heat on this track. its fucking fire)
- Gedo Senki by Anetha (nice heavy bass line but soft and bouncy too)
- Skin Shed by DINA (speed, so much speed)
a soft death 