I should do laundry today. I haven’t done laundry in a couple weeks and recently spilled the juice from frozen cherries all over my duvet cover and bedsheets. My whole body feels raw from life and I’m still smoking weed. Every time I smoke a joint the rawness goes away and everything becomes soft. I feel safer in my skin. I only have a few days left of this stress, I can feel it. The weed will disappear too, but for now I love its serotonin boosting kindness.
I’m in love with Rockaway beach. I took a bunch of photos out there this summer and I honestly was expecting a pretty disappointing end result, but I got the exact opposite. The colors are so rich and nuanced. There’s something about Rockaway that is so gritty and poetic at the same time. I can’t get enough of the energy.
I’m getting my period in a week or so, and have been working on my Instagram page for my photography. I’m in love with so many of my photos, and I feel so toxic for this. I want to get as many of them up as possible, but am struggling to curate everything. I had a friend that was super deep into design and did absolutely killer shit. I’m sure she would know a thing or two about trying to get so many different images up on a single instagram page.
I need to try to make money off my photography. I’m going to start building sets of photos and try submitting them to competitions. I think I might lose more than I will win. A lot of photography these days is very perfect. There’s a lot nice cameras and perfect framing. My stuff isn’t perfectly framed and it’s shot on a disposable. I love this though. I have a pricey camera but the shots always feel empty to me. There’s an aliveness in this that is hard to beat.
a soft death 