I’m struggling to take root in myself. Maren Altman said that the current Venus Retrograde in Leo was causing 2 issues for Leo placements, an identity crisis and a desire to make changes to their appearance. My moon is in Leo and both these energies are playing out for me. I’ve picked out the first tattoo I’m getting once this retrograde is over.
It’s weird, I even told a friend in a voice note the other day that I feel like I’m going through an identity crisis. It’s not a bad one though. I feel like all the ideas that calcified over the last year and a half are starting to undo themselves. There are several planets in retrograde right now so everything is caught in a cycle of reflection and revision. My headspace mirrors that.
I don’t mind moving backwards to rethink things. I realized today that I was in a depressive slump. Years ago I came across a line in a random notebook: “Depression is comfortable. Get the fuck out of it.” I was instantly annoyed when I read that. The truth it carries found its way to me today. Maybe it’s the retrograde, but I’m starting to question the necessity of the mildly depressive outlook I’ve been hanging onto for several months.
Life is about letting go. I’ve lived in the same apartment for close to 8 years and I’m wondering if I should find a new place. Maybe it’s time to update my life. I’ve been biking around the city trying to figure out which neighborhood would be good to move to and right now the pockets along LES/Chinatown look good. Maybe Greenpoint. Who the fuck knows.
I don’t want my life to feel so up in the air right now. What I want is for things to be stable and predictable, but I don’t have room for that. I’ve spent months reflecting on potential transitions and putting them off. If the point of this retrograde is to drag me back to reopening questions that I thought I settled, it’s working. Maybe the next step is finally shifting from what I’ve known, and leaning into the chaotic ocean of the unknown.
a soft death 